October Reflection
The Ripples of Love…
The Sky was laced by cotton strands all across the horizon ahead... kind of a blanket, sticky spiderweb hanging over us just in time for Halloween...
The weight on my chest pressed heavily. Lately, taking a breath has felt like lifting a pack of rocks with each attempt. But I keep pushing... I'd close my eyes and palms in a prayer to once again, open my heart to love and hope.
Pain seems to take so much away. It carves a cavity in our chest and fills it with hot, throbbing substance... I can nearly see it. It is dark, boiling, spitting thousands of tiny bubbles creating green shadows against one another.... At times I feel the need to place my hands right under my ribs to hold and stop this heart from falling out and onto the pavement before me.
Then I look around at faces passing me by... Some frown, some smile, others laugh into their phones.... I see an old man holding an umbrella. It was a rather sunny day....How many times did he get caught in heavy rain to decide never again?!?
Was he alone, stepping into unforgiving puddles, getting splashed by cars speeding by? Did he love someone in the rain once...? Drops caressing their lips as they lock in unity and pleasure.... When did he love someone last? Does he miss her or him? He stood there in the shadow, waiting for a bus, his lips curved in a subtle sadness... I nearly felt my sadness touch his own and then I caught his eyes. Swiftly I smiled wide and nodded my head. He just lightly touched his hat and mustered a brief smile.
Ah...That was the first time I felt alive in days!
Pain digs cavities... yet, it expands our hearts and our capacity to love. My need for comfort urges me to comfort you! Our deepest emotions resonate like echoes through the world. Like compasses they take us to those seeking us out.
It's the pleasure of beginnings that pulls us in... Sweet and magnetic, it releases hundreds of fluttering butterflies coating and tickling our insides with those soft and glorious wings of theirs. Our steps grow light, we are nearly gliding through the air. The sky is bluer, clouds whiter and sun is smiling that much brighter...We'd nearly sell our soul for the sweetest taste of honey, the bud of a new love. We take the flight, relinquishing all our power to the other that can meet us half way or let us crash into pieces. It asks for the courage of a complete surrender.
My breaths are growing easy and light. I try to behold the vastness of universe in my mind and body, let the golden light fill my chest so I can release it back out to the world. It is a beautiful experience nonetheless, inhabiting this body and this passing existence. Gratitude starts to flow in and my heart is peaceful enough to rest. I bid you goodnight beautiful one. Good night old man with the hat... Good night Universe.